I love everything about my Nora. I love how’s she so laid back, and yet so dramatic when she wants to be. I love the way she “dances” anytime music comes on, or the way she giggles uncontrollably at her brother’s antics. I love her fierce, determined spirit. I love the way little bubble skirts look on her. I love how she’s already got her daddy wrapped around her finger. I love the way her hair curls up when it’s humid out, and how sweet her smile is. Basically, I am desperately in love with this little girl God gave me.
Last year about this time I looked like some mixture between a beached whale/torpedo/prize winning watermelon. I was having painful contractions all the stinking time, my back was killing me, and I couldn’t sleep. Then I ended up in the hospital with pre-term labor and was put on full-stop bed rest, and my misery only got worse. At 37 weeks, when I came off bed rest, I was in so much pain I could hardly walk. What muscle tone I had left in my legs was met with shooting pains from contractions. The entire left side of my rib cage felt like it was going to explode. The next two and half weeks until I was finally induced were some of the longest days I have ever experienced, and I felt wholly helpless and incapable.
This morning as I watched my sweet little Nora Jane play, my heart so hopelessly in love with her, I realized that all that pain and discomfort and waiting was more than worth it. I would do it a thousand times over for the sweet doll that is my little girl.
If you’re going through hard times, press into God and keep persevering. Someday soon you may look back and realize that these hard times were worth it. You see, sometimes the hardest things we go through turn into the greatest blessings.
We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose.
I was so determined to be ready when Baby Girl Baker made her grand entrance into this world, somewhere around her due date. Before she came, the house would be spotless, the freezer full, bags packed, and all arrangements made. According to that plan, I’d be cleaning my house right now, waiting for my parents to arrive, and looking forward to the baby shower this Sunday and more relatives visiting this coming week.
Yesterday morning preterm labor sent me to the hospital where I spent a restless night tossing and turning, hooked up to monitors and IVs. This morning the doctors let me go home with orders for strict bed rest. I’m 35 weeks, 4 days pregnant, and we’re trying to get Baby Girl to at least 37 weeks.
So, instead of doing what I think I should be doing, I’m lying in my bed with instructions to only get up to use the bathroom. I won’t even be able to make it to Baby Girl’s shower this Sunday. There’s so much to be done, but nothing that I can do, and little chance that I’ll be able to before she makes her arrival. Things like this, they can’t be planned for…or planned around.
Yet, I see God’s hand so clearly through all of this. I see that He’s using this to whittle me away…to make me stop trusting in myself and my “plans” and to start trusting in Him. I see that I need to stop thinking I can be Super Mommy all the time, with the perfect house and the perfect plan. Because I can’t. Expecting myself to be that way only sets me up to fail. I see that His timing and His plans are always far better than ours in the end, even when we don’t understand why now. I see that it’s going to be okay.
I just have to make it a week and a half. I’m sure that the dust will sit, we’ll be eating out of pizza boxes, and my poor husband will be too tired for words…but we’ll make it. And soon, one way or another, our precious baby girl will be in our arms and this will be all over it. And it’ll all be worth it.