Of Young Love and No Longer Being a Newlywed

My sister-in-law is getting married.  It’s all romantic and rushed in a we-can’t-wait-to-be-married way.  Then there’s the handful of others in my life getting engaged or planning futures together, in the midst of young, blossoming love.

All of it has me thinking back on our own love story.  Five years isn’t a long time to be married, yet that first year of marriage seems like ages ago.  It’s hard to recall what life was like before houses, babies, and crazy work hours.  It’s harder still to remember what it felt like to first be in love: the butterflies in the stomach, the ache to just be near each other, and the promise that you’d never take for granted the gift of not having to say goodnight.

In five years, life happens.  Some days you feel like ships passing in the night, and you most certainly take for granted not having to say goodnight, because only getting to see each other then just isn’t enough.  And one day you realize you’ve almost forgotten what it was like to be that young girl in love with a boy and willing to give up everything you’ve known to be with him.

And yet, the love hasn’t faded.  The giddy, early love has perhaps, but it has been replaced by a constant, truer love.  A love that takes work and sacrifice.  A love that ebbs and flows with the days, but is steadily getting stronger and stronger.  A love that is untouched by a big fight or a season of long work hours.  A love that delights in the easy times, and perseveres in the harder ones.

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Thanks to some airline miles and saving, Andy and I were able to get away for a few days for our 5th anniversary.  It was so weird to be without the kids for that long, and we certainly missed them, but we needed that time with just the two of us.  Truth be told, I’m not the same girl that first fell in love with that cowboy.  She was just a shadow of the woman God is molding me into.  He’s not the same boy I fell in love with either.  If we didn’t take the time to get to know each other over and over again as we grow, we’d find ourselves waking up one day not knowing the person we were married to…and that’s a very dangerous place to be in.

Sometimes I may forget what it was like to be nervously holding hands with Andy, watching love stir and grow in my heart for him.  My love for Andy and with Andy may have its seasons and changes.  Yet, he’ll always be my cowboy and I’ll always be his girl…and that’s enough for me.  


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I’m So Glad You Don’t

Some people criticize Valentine’s Day for its materialism and its promotion of the idea that chocolates and flowers one day a year are enough to keep a relationship strong.  I get their reasoning, I really do.  But you have always felt that Valentine’s Day was one of many opportunities to rekindle romance, and to proclaim your love for me.  I’m so glad you feel that way.  

I remember the heart ache that Valentine’s Day used to bring.  “Single’s Awareness Day” it really was, for I was painfully aware of my singleness.  No matter how hard I tried, each Valentine’s that passed only seemed to stir up feelings and aching that could not be fulfilled.

And then you came into my life, soft yet startling.  Soft because it took a little while for us to actually get together.  Startling because I knew pretty early on that you were the one, and I didn’t know how I could possibly know that about someone that I barely knew…or that may not even reciprocate my feelings.  But somehow I did know.

Our first Valentine’s Day together we weren’t even a “Facebook official” couple.  You bought me roses and we went on a double date with your parents to a quaint little Italian place.  The wait for dinner was a little long, so we made a quick trip to the McDonalds across the street while we waited.  You bought me a hot chocolate and we sat next to each other on the cold, hard fast food booth.  And I remember feeling so thrilled inside.  For once, I wasn’t alone on Valentine’s Day…for once, I had a guy to take me out and pay for my drink.  The fact that I was so crazy about you made it all the sweeter.

I realized today that this approaching Valentine’s Day will be our 7th together.  Each one spent together a changing reflection of where we were in life.  There was the one where we were engaged and went back to that same Italian restaurant together before heading to premarital counseling.  Then there was our first as a newlywed couple, where I scrimped and saved to buy a steak to cook, only to have to keep it warm for hours as you unexpectedly had to work late.  There was the time we got to take a special weekend getaway, and there was the time that we merely went out to dinner.  Work, pregnancy, children, buying businesses…our Valentine’s Days saw it all.

Yet, in each one of them, you made me feel special and loved.  It didn’t matter the trials and struggles we had been through in the previous year.  It didn’t matter how we or our family had changed.  There was always something special, always chocolate, and there was always you.

I’d still love you even if you forgot about Valentine’s Day every year…but I’m so glad you don’t.