My kid is the cutest (or smartest or most beautiful)…you fill in the blank.
Your kid is more advanced developmentally than mine? You’re probably exaggerating.
My baby looks tiny next to yours? You must be feeding yours too much.
My baby is really chunky? Yes sir, and I’m proud of it!
I could totally blame my indigestion on the baby and no one would ever know.
I’m trying to remember why I would have put the TV remote in the fridge.
I wonder if the other mothers’ bellies look like squishy biscuit dough?
Child, you are about to make me lose my mind. But somehow I still love you anyway.
If the kids fall asleep in the car I’m totally stopping for a milkshake.