Dear Single Girl: Think Outside the Box

As long as I could remember, I was encouraged by youth leaders and well-meaning mentors to make a list of what I “wanted” in a husband and to stick to my standards.  While some of the things on my list were good, like “Christian” or “honest”, I’ve come to believe that we girls all too often put our future husband in a box.

If you want to homeschool, you look for someone who was homeschooled.  If you don’t want to homeschool, you look specifically for someone who wasn’t.  If you’re Baptist you look for a Baptist.  If you come from a stable family, you look for someone who comes from the same background.  We assume that a guy meeting these criteria will mean he’s a good fit for us.

The only problem is, all of those things are outward.  God doesn’t look at the outward appearance…He looks at the heart.  Marriage is meant to balance us out.  The perfect person for you may have an opposite personality or come from a completely different background.  Also, having the same background as you doesn’t ensure that they’ll have the same convictions…or the same heart.  I’d venture to guess that not every homeschooled guy wants to homeschool, or that every public schooler doesn’t want to homeschool his kids.

I believe that girls limit the pool of potential husbands too much by assuming that the guy for them fits in a certain box.  I’m not saying you should settle or throw all caution to the wind and get rid of all your standards.  Know your convictions and your standards…just don’t write off a guy just because he’s not who you pictured marrying.  Sometimes the best diamonds come from the roughest places.

 

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