When you marry young, a certain stigma hangs over your head. People seem to be just waiting for you to have troubles and split, or at least regret your “rash” decision. Getting married young can be incredibly hard and frustrating, but it can also be wonderfully sweet.
I have a lot of friends who are older and single who no longer have any hope of marrying young. This post is not for them. It’s for those whom God did call to marry young, and for those who are contemplating it. It’s for those who question the wiseness of marrying young. It’s for my husband, my best friend, the man I want to grow old with. It’s also, in many ways, for myself.
So, without further ado, here are the 9 reasons why I’m glad I married young:
1. We get to grow up together. Notice I say “get to” instead of “got to”. We’re still growing up and maturing. God is still molding us into the man and woman He has created us to be. The best part is that we get to go through this process together, while making sure that we grow together instead of apart.
2. We weren’t set in our ways. We didn’t have a lot of time to get set in our ways. I didn’t have an opinion on what brand of toothpaste was best, and he didn’t have an unchangeable Saturday morning routine. Granted, we each came into marriage with our own set of opinions and methods, but we’ve also had more of an opportunity to develop habits together.
3. I didn’t have to discover who God created me to be alone. I’m not the same young woman I was when I got married, nor am I the woman that I thought I would be back then. The past four years I’ve gone through a lot of self-discovery and growth. If anything, my husband has furthered this growth as he’s encouraged me to stretch myself, challenged my thinking, and supported me in my pursuits. He gives me the freedom to become the woman God created me to be, but I haven’t had to do it alone. He’s been by my side every step of the way.
4. We rely on each other. When I got married, I had never lived outside of my parents home. One week after our wedding day, I found my naive newlywed self one thousand miles away in a completely new place. We didn’t have many friends, and we had to rely on each other for everything. We also had to learn to depend on each other financially. We didn’t start out with firm career paths and tons of savings in the bank. We were both still in school and had next to nothing. Any worldly success we’ve had since then has been completely dependent on our marriage and on each other.
5. We fit in better with the culture we live in. God chose to plant us in a place where marrying young is the norm instead of the exception. In our circles, we are far from being the youngest to get married, or even the youngest to have a baby. I believe God knew that when he put us together. My husband and I feel more able to reach those in the community because we can relate to the many who married young as well.
6. We had the opportunity to start a family young. We waited a year and a half before feeling God leading us to try for a baby, and we’d been married over two years before Miles was born. Not a long stretch of time by any means, but we still had a good chunk of time to ourselves. The great thing about having married young, however, was that we were still very young when we became parents. We appreciate the extra energy that comes with youth…and we also look forward to being young empty-nesters and still having the energy to travel and explore.
7. The sexual freedom. I won’t go into a lot of detail here. Suffice it to say, sex within the bonds of marriage is a very beautiful and freeing thing. We didn’t have to wait a long time to experience that. Not that marriage is a cure-all for sexual struggles, nor is married sex the hot-and-steamy passion it is depicted in movies and books. Yet, sex within marriage can be unbelievably fulfilling, especially when you’ve gone from the tension of “waiting” and not crossing a line, even though you really want to. Having the freedom to enjoy all that God created sex to be is incredibly liberating.
8. Marriage is fun. Marriage is a lot of work, and it’s far from easy. It can also be really fun. Enjoying life with the person who knows you better than anyone else is an unfathomable blessing. Laughing together, doing spontaneous things, fixing up your house, not being afraid to be yourself…need I say more?
9. More time with my soul mate. Life is short and goes by all too quickly. You never know what day will be your last. I don’t have any clue what the future may bring, but I’m so thankful for these extra years I’ve had with my man. I’m so glad that I didn’t wait to marry him.
Getting married young has had its challenges, but I don’t regret it for one single minute. I know without a doubt that I married the man God created for me, and I’m so glad that I didn’t put off the wonderful blessing that marriage is and has been because of my age, or because I hadn’t yet “experienced” the world. Yes, I was young and unsure of myself, but marriage has not stifled my growth. Far from it. Marriage has been the best and sweetest adventure I’ve ever known. I’m so glad I was young when I embarked upon it.