Dear Single Girl,

Dear Single Girl,

I was having a discussion with a dear friend the other day.  She just so happens to be single.  We talked about men, standards, commitment, etc.  After talking to her, I sat pondering what had been said for hours.

I’ve been married now a whole two and a half years (I know, forever right? 😉 ).  My husband and I have gone through moves, remodeling, trips, having a baby, and so much more in our marriage.  Yet, I really mean it when I say that I am happier now than I even was as a newlywed.  Marriage is an amazing thing, and, if you work at it, it just gets better-and-better.

In fact, I love marriage so much that I want to see everyone get married!  The problem is, that I see a lot of girls still searching.  Often, they are either suffering from a shortage of godly men, setting their standards too high, setting the wrong standards, afraid of commitment themselves, or simply looking in the wrong places.

I wanted to share with you what I’ve learned really matters in a marriage and in a man.  So, here goes…

Look for a man, not a boy.  There are plenty of boys in this world, but there is a startling lack of real men.  A man acts like one.  He’s not afraid of responsibility.  In fact, he relishes it.

Look for someone who doesn’t just talk about the Bible…he lives it. Very few real men have time to sit and talk about the Bible all day.  Sorry, but it’s true.  They’re too busy being faithful in the daily work God has called them to.

Look for someone who is a hard worker.  That kind of man will never let you or your kids starve.  That kind of man will stick with anything, even when it’s hard or mundane.

Look for someone who values marriage and wants to get married. 

Look for someone who’s mad about you.

Look for someone you can play with.  A lifetime is a long time to spend with someone you don’t enjoy being with.

Look for someone who cherishes children.  That’s the kind of man that will make a good dad someday.

Look for a good man, not a perfect one.  A good man makes a perfect husband.  He doesn’t have to be always kind, thoughtful, or romantic…but he does need to be faithful, true, and just.

Look for someone who doesn’t squander money.  He doesn’t have to be the saver of the century, but he should know where his money his going and not be wasting it on frivolous things!

Look for a man you can follow.  Make sure you would follow him wherever God leads, whether that be to the ends of the earth or a common life down the street.

Look for a man you’re attracted to.  They don’t have to be the hunk of the century (and, lets face it, they won’t be that hunk thirty years from now), but attraction is still important.

Look for someone you admire.  

Most importantly, look for a man you can love…and who’s worth the effort to keep your love from growing cold.  Marriage is full of blessings, but it’s also full of work.  Only marry someone who is worthy of both.

Remember, God is writing you a love story beyond your wildest dreams…don’t get in His way. 😉



3 thoughts on “Dear Single Girl,

  1. I'd like to think I'll still be a little hunky in 30 years…?

    Great post, honey! You have some really great perspective and I admire you for compiling these in such a down-to-earth and relatable way.

    -Your man

  2. Thank you for this post, Caitlin. Sometimes it's hard to know if I'm setting my standards too high. I believe that God has a guy out there for me, and He is preparing both of us for one another. Even so, your list is so helpful!

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