Peace

I’m now 37 weeks (38 tomorrow!) along in my pregnancy.  It’s hard to believe that, at any time now, our sweet little man could make his entrance.  Each day it seems like there are more signs that my body is preparing for labor.  My Braxton-Hicks are really picking up and intensifying, and I can feel him pressing down farther-and-farther.  My joints seem to get looser by the day.  Monday at my doctor’s appointment, I had started to efface a little, although there was still no dilation.  That night, however, I lost a little bit of my mucous plug. 

It’s easy to get uptight or anxious or impatient for his arrival, especially when you don’t know the exact day he’ll come (or how he’ll come).  I know that most babies from first-time moms don’t come until around 41 weeks.  I know, too, that not too long after that my doctor will be pushing for an induction.  With an induction, a lot of my hopes of as natural a birth as possible go out the window. 

Then there’s the fact that my doctor will be gone the week leading up to (and, in fact on my due date), leaving me to the fate of whatever doctor is on call.  But I guess I’ll be left to a random doctor should this baby choose to come on the weekend, as well.

There’s the possibility of baby coming earlier.  On Sunday one of my friends told me she thought the baby was coming this Thursday.  O_o Honestly, as much as I’m ready for him to come at any time, that does seem a bit early.  Now throw in all the “unknowns” about how labor will happen and progress, or if something will go wrong, and I could easily be a nervous wreck.    

Surprisingly, though, I’m not.  I really feel at peace about everything, even with all the questions and “play-it-by-ear”-ness of the next couple of weeks.  The fact of the matter is, I don’t have control nor can I ever have it.  There’s no way I can know when he’ll come, or how, or what will happen. 

But God knows.  He’s known from the beginning, and all is in His hands.  For the last nine months, He’s taken the tiniest life and formed it, carefully and meticulously, into the precious little man we now eagerly await.  He’s kept him safe for that long, so can’t He be trusted to bring him into this world in His perfect timing and way? 

Yes, the next few weeks are kind of up in the air.  I never know how many meals ahead to plan, or if I should obsess about keeping the floor and sink clean.  I don’t know how to form my to-do lists for the week, or what I should plan on getting done before baby is born.  Yet, two things I do know: First, that at the end of this, sweet Baby Baker will be in my arms.  Second, that God is faithful and good, and that His plan is perfect.

As my sister says, “Every baby should get to choose their own birthday.”  Thankfully, God knows when that birthday is.    

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