Tuesday evening I came out to my garden to find my precious tomato plants being ravaged by some sort of beetle. Hundreds of them.
I rushed to the farm store before they closed to get some insecticidal soap, and then sprayed the little buggers as best I could. The next morning, they were even worse. I admit, I overreacted a bit.
Here I was, almost 34 weeks pregnant, standing out in the scorching heat, trying to do everything I could think of to save them. Finally, knowing if I stood out there any longer I’d get too overheated, I went inside. By the end of the day, I’d called my mom (the master gardener-in-training) about a billion times, cut off every vine that held a tomato (hoping they might ripen in a paper bag), and had my sister-in-law come over and sprinkle Sevin dust on everything. Yes, ardent organic gardener me now has a chemical on my garden. Obviously it was my last resort.
Somewhere in the midst of my freaking out and trying to “save” my garden, I realized that I couldn’t. I had to come to the realization that God truly is Lord of the harvest, whether that harvest happens how I want it to or not. He knew all along that these enemy beetles were on their way. He controls the rain and the sun, and He oversees every last blister beetle. But why would He just let them come?
I see now what a good reminder it was for me. As I get later in this pregnancy, I’ve been doing too much. The last few weeks, I’ve been failing to admit that my body is slowing down…and that I need to slow down with it. I try to walk and lift and work at the same rate that I used to, and I just can’t.
Had I not been eight months pregnant, I might have sat out there in the heat picking off every last one of those blister beetles. But I couldn’t do that. As much as I wanted to, I had Baby B to think about. As it was, I probably stayed out there too long. And really, what was it for?
Slowly but surely I’m learning that slowing down and resting is not a sign of weakness. God made my body perfectly able to grow and birth a child. It knows what to do. It knows I need rest. Sometimes it’s just me that needs a rest.
And so, I’ll continue to tend my little garden. But I won’t let it rule my life. I won’t think that I have all control over it. And, instead of weeding every chance I get…I might just put my feet up for a while. For Baby B, of course. 🙂
Check out Newlywed’s Bliss today for tips on how to start grilling!