One of the things I really want to address about SAHMs are all of the myths out there. With the recent criticism of Ann Romney for being a stay-at-home mom, I feel this is especially relevant. There are many, MANY more, but here are a few that are in my thoughts right now:
“Living on one income is only possible nowadays when your husband has a high-paying job.”
I hope to address this in more detail in a later post, but for now I’d like to say this simply isn’t true! My husband doesn’t make a ton, but we live a very comfortable and happy life…and we rarely do without! If my husband made less, we’d still be able to make-do by cutting out some things (smart phones, satellite TV, etc.). More on that later!
“Stay-at-home moms are lazy.”
This couldn’t be further from the truth! Spend a day with a SAHM and, I promise you, you’ll change your mind. Granted, there are always those few who give the rest of us a bad name, but for the most part SAHMs are running constantly all day! They have the hardest job of all…and they don’t even get paid for it. I can never understand how someone could criticize a woman for not working outside of the home (ala, Ann Romney “hasn’t worked a day in her life”). Ask anyone and they’ll tell you that being in the daycare industry is one of the hardest and draining jobs there is. Stay-at-home moms are their own daycare workers, plus house cleaners, cooks, and a billion other things. Can you seriously say that isn’t work??!!
Furthermore, SAHM moms are incredibly self-sacrificing. They don’t get breaks, quiet lunch dates with friends, or quiet time in the car on the way to pick up their kids. They are constantly putting their family’s needs ahead of their own. Hard work? You better believe it!
“Stay-at-home moms are missing out on a fulfilling career.”
True fulfillment doesn’t come from success in the eyes of the world or getting a promotion. Fulfillment comes from pouring everything you have into the task and the work God has given you for today. It comes from knowing you are doing God’s work and changing the world. You don’t need an outside job to find this. Each time you clean up a smelly diaper or wipe a snotty nose, you are loving and nurturing the precious gift God has entrusted to you. You are training, molding, and shaping the next world changer.
This goes beyond your children, though. As wives, our ultimate goal should be to be the best helpmeets we can be to our men. By taking care of the home and caring for the children, you are freeing your husband up to be all that God has created him to be! What could be a better help (or purpose) than this?
“I would go crazy staying at home all day!”
I think I’m going to address this more later on, too. I believe that this is one of the biggest lies that women are told nowadays! And who can blame modern young women for thinking this? They’ve been steeped in the idea (from birth), that being a homemaker is boring and unfulfilling. They’ve been taught to pursue their dreams, and those “dreams” go beyond a husband and children. Chances are, their own mothers worked outside of the home and they haven’t had any good role models of happy and fulfilled stay-at-home moms!
As women, we will find the most happiness and fulfillment when we are “keepers-at-home” before anything else. We need to learn to embrace our homes and truly make them our castles. More on that later.
“If I was a stay-at-home mom, I wouldn’t be able to have any social life.”
Less income means less money for babysitters. Add to that the constraint of having your children with you all day, and you rarely have time to meet a friend for lunch or have any “down” time. But you know what? There are other options! Look for a MOPs group or a playgroup to join. If you can’t find one, start one. Offer to trade off babysitting with another couple you know. Don’t be afraid to leave the kids at grandma’s for the weekend, or ask your husband to watch them on occasion while you have dinner with some friends. Not being able to have a social life is an excuse…and one that doesn’t have to be!
Additionally, maybe its time to start seeing your children as the blessings they are, instead of burdens. Learn to love spending time with them and being with them! Yes, you need couple time or adult time on occasion, but every time you meet a friend doesn’t have to be without a kid in tow. Instead of meeting a friend for lunch at a nice cafe, bring the kids along, pack lunches, and meet her at the park. Really, it’s all about attitude.
What are some common myths that you have heard about stay-at-home moms?