As I’ve mentioned before, last winter was a bleak one for me. Not that my life was bleak…I was just severely missing the sun. Before I knew it, I found myself in a depressive state. Last February, I was right in the thick of it. I remember one day in particular when I was waiting for my husband to finish work (where I’d been all day too, cramped in a windowless office that I hated). The blacksmiths had long since gone home for the day, and I found myself running up and down the plant aisles, frustrated, tired, and with a splitting headache…just trying to feel better.
Thankfully, Spring came and I learned to combat my depression better. All the same, I dreaded this winter…dreading the same thing happening. I took precautionary measures, but I still feared slipping into that pit once again.
Now, here I am, with February almost over. Yes, life is very different for me this year. I’m no longer stuck in that windowless office all day, we have a house to call our own, and a sweet life grows within me. To me, this winter has even seemed milder…with more sunny days. But still, the grey days come. The gloom makes me teeter on the edge of that precipice…dangerously close to falling in.
One day last week I was feeling like that. It had been grey and wet for several days. That day, in fact, it had been pouring cold rain. Mid-morning, however, the rain slacked and I took the opportunity to take Sam out for a walk…knowing I needed that time.
At first, it didn’t seem to help. I took them camera with me, hoping that capturing some of the beauty of the day would cast aside the gloom. Instead, I became frustrated. There were beautiful clouds rolling by, but somehow I couldn’t capture it. I looked out at the hills, barren, grey, empty, and they became bleaker and bleaker in my eyes. Lord, I prayed, show me the beauty. And He did.
To my surprise, it wasn’t in the sky or on a far away hill. Instead, it was right under my own nose. You see, as my walking path descends into a valley, large rocks line the sides…rocks I rarely notice. But today I did. And on these rocks were beautiful mosses, in all different shades. Water dripped from them slowly, deliberately, peacefully.
So, how’s my February? Good, I’d say. I’m delighting in the little things, like a hot bowl of chili, a good book, and a soft, cozy blanket. I’m trying not to miss out on any of the antics of my pets, any time spent with my husband, or any excellent blog posts. On those precious, sunny days, I set everything aside and go outside. Spring is spreading her first warm fingers, but this year I don’t reach for her as my only hope. I can’t wait for her to arrive, yes, but right now I’m delighting in the season I’m in. I’m cherishing the moss on my rock…a gift from the Balm of Gilead.
How’s your February going? Are the winter blues getting you down?