It seems like there are two extremes as far as modesty goes. On the one hand are those that go overboard and cover up every area of their body with a paper sack. On the other hand are the women who go around flaunting their bodies and getting attention through skimpy clothing.
Now, modesty is important. I believe how we dress and act should be a reflection of Him who lives within us. But I don’t think wearing paper bags or revealing your body in public is an accurate reflection of Him.
So where do you stand? Where do you draw the line on modesty?
As women, I believe that we don’t often set our standards where we should. When I was graduating from high school, I had it in my head that the nice guys like I wanted to marry would like me better if I wore mostly skirts, did my hair like Pride and Prejudice, and wore very light makeup. Why I thought this, I have no idea. I guess it was from looking around at different families and what the wives and daughters in them wore.
The funny thing is, my husband really likes when I wear jeans. He likes dresses and skirts, but only when they’re cute…and don’t look like a prairie dress. Actually, since we’ve gotten married, my “modesty line” has gotten a tad more lenient. Not because I’m married and don’t have to worry about it anymore, but because Andy has communicated to me that he thought many things were fine. In the past year and a half I’ve started wearing skirts that are just a little bit shorter, shorts that aren’t guy’s basketball shirts, and tank tops without a shrug. I know, shocking right? I’m not dressing skanky or overtly worldly…I’m just not dressing like Laura Ingall’s Wilder anymore. Why?
I believe that when I think about what to wear, how to do my hair, and what make up to put on, I should always be thinking about my husband. When I take the time to dress to please him and look cute, then I’m showing him how much I value him.
Some days I still feel uncomfortable. I’m always afraid of what people will think, and I definitely dress differently in certain settings. But mostly I’m learning to just think about what my husband likes. To me, it’s more important to look nice for my husband than to worry about what judgmental people will say.
And before you get to thinking that my husband only likes “superficial” things, then let me clear that up. It’s not true! My husband thinks I’m beautiful without any makeup on and a messy bed-head. And he doesn’t forget to tell me so. Like I said, it’s more about showing him how much I value him, and my wanting him to be proud of me. If you knew a certain meal was your hubby’s favorite, wouldn’t you want to cook it for him? And isn’t he proud to show off that meal at the church potluck? It’s not superficial, it’s being a good wife.
So stop setting rules that have no grounds and start asking your hubby how he would like you to dress. I can promise you, he doesn’t want a potato sack for a wife, and neither does he want a wife who shows off her body. He wants a wife that takes the time to dress nice for him. It’s like the wrapper on a box of chocolates.
Just make sure there’s some chocolate under that wrapper. 😉