Learning to Trust

This past week has been chock-full of craziness.  It began with a truck in the shop, meaning a bill of well over a grand, and ended with finding out that the back tires on my car are dangerously worn.  In between, we’ve had two friends in the hospital (one with a broken back, that I mentioned last week), one set of friends miscarried their little boy, I had a weird reaction to a bug bite and had to see the doctor, and things with the house haven’t worked out as planned.  Oh, and my sister came to visit.  I’m tempted to say that that’s the only positive part of last week, but that’s not true.  I got to go on a sweet and special date with my husband to the home improvement store and Olive Garden.
Most of all, this past week, my husband and I have been earnestly seeking God’s will for our life a certain decision.  Strangely enough, the craziness and stress of the past week have linked with this decision hand-and-hand.  Why?  Because God has been really working in our lives and on our hearts. 
I’m a planner.  I love to have organized lists and schedules, and having a large safety-net of money means the difference between peace and worry for me.  The last week obviously aligned with none of these desires and comfort zones for me.  But that’s the point.  God’s really been revealing to me that I’m not relying on Him and His strength…I’m relying on my own efforts and careful planning. 
Sometimes I wonder when I’ll quit stressing and worrying about my plans, and start letting go, knowing that God’s plan is so much better?!  This worry and control on my part is only a stumbling block between me and the Lord.  How sad is it that I let my worries and plans get in the way of my relationship and sheer and utter trust in the Savior of my soul?! 
Letting go is not an easy process.  But slowly, faithfully, He is chipping away at what I’ve made myself into, and forming me into what He wants me to be. 
Oh, the wondrous plans I know He has in store for meIf only I will let Him dream instead of me.  

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