Far From the Home I Love

Right now, I’m sitting in the Phoenix Airport, waiting to get on a flight.  Sometimes, I feel like I live here…I’m here so often.  Since my dad’s a pilot, Andy and I have been blessed with free standby airline passes, so we get to see each other fairly often.  Today, however, is the last time I will be flying out of this airport as an unmarried lady.  This is the last weekend I will go to visit Arkansas.  Next time I go there, it will be my new home.

In 5 short weeks, I will be marrying the most wonderful man I know and moving far, far away to a little town in Arkansas.  I leave behind my home, my family, and everything that I hold dear.  It’s so weird to think about sometimes.  I know that what I will miss the most is my family…my parents and my three sisters.  We are all so close.  Last night I was watching part of a movie with my sisters, and I realized that this would be one of the last times.  I’m leaving soon.  I found myself beginning to get very sad.

It will be so strange not seeing them everyday, not living in the same house, not eating dinner with them.  It will be so odd not waking up to a beautiful Arizona sky.  This is all I have ever known!

But at the same time, I think about all that I am gaining.  I have dreamed about getting married and starting a family of my own for as long as I can remember.  Now, that dream is coming true, and I get to marry my Prince Charming.  Maybe I’m a bit biased, but I think he’s the greatest.  Like, greater than anyone else. 🙂  He is my love and my very best friend, and I can’t wait to spend every day with him!  I can’t wait to make a home with him!

Arkansas, too, holds so many charms.  This thing called “green” is one of the big things.  Arizona is really beautiful, but it isn’t green, at least not like Arkansas.  Today, as I took the shuttle down the hill, the desert was alive with green and colorful wildflowers.  But not like Arkansas.

I’m looking forward to living in a small town.  I’m looking forward to something new.  Something different.  Oh yes, what and adventure it will be!

So, my wedding day will be bittersweet.  I gain so much, yet leave so much behind.  I know that each of us girls will leave someday.  We’ll grow up, get married, and start a family of our own.  Yet, somehow, it seems harder being the first.  Leaving the home I love…

How can I hope to make you understand 
Why I do, what I do,
Why I must travel to a distant land
Far from the home I love?

Once I was happily content to be
As I was, where I was
Close to the people who are close to me
Here in the home I love…

Who could see that a man would come
Who would change the shape of my dreams?
Helpless, now, I stand with him
Watching older dreams grow dim.

Oh, what a melancholy choice this is,
Wanting home, wanting him,
Closing my heart to every hope but his,
Leaving the home I love.

There where my heart has settled long ago
I must go, I must go.
Who could imagine I’d be wand’ring so
Far from the home I love?

Yet, there with my love, I’m home.
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